The Petraeus Cheerleading Squad...

... from this week's The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 306:

Number 3: The Petraeus Cheerleading Squad Oh, I'm sorry, have I been criticizing General Petraeus? Heaven forbid! The next thing you know, Rudy Giuliani will be running a full-page ad in the New York Times condemning me. Hey Rudy! You're an asshole! Now go run crying to Hillary Clinton and demand she apologize because I called you a rude name. Yes, last week Rudy Giuliani blamed Hillary Clinton for a MoveOn ad in the New York Times which read "General Petraeus or General Betray Us?" The ad was roundly denounced by conservatives. Apparently it's once again unpatriotic and un-American to suggest that we might want to think twice before blindly accepting the word of one of Gee-Dubya's generals, despite the obvious fact that if the guy was going to tell the truth Bush would have fired him ages ago. The funny thing is, these conservatives are always banging on about "learning the lessons of history." Well how about this? It only happened five years ago so everyone ought to remember it: Just in case you've forgotten, that was when another well-respected general gave a major speech to the U.N. Security Council which contained so much bullshit that the building had to be mucked out with shovels. Shortly after Colin Powell wagged his anthrax, the U.S. media were all aboard the shock-and-awe express and it wasn't long before we were racing to Baghdad. Here's how it works: Step One: Media goes ga-ga over Colin Powell and his WMD presentation to the U.N. Step Two: Media insists that Powell is an unimpeachable source and that anyone who criticizes him must love the terrorists. Step Three: Media demands that we must invade Iraq immediately before Saddam Hussein can drop anthrax down our chimneys. Step Four: U.S. invades Iraq. No WMD are found. Things quickly turn to shit. Step Five: Media wrings hands and spanks itself for getting swept up in war fever and not being critical enough of Powell. Step Six: Media goes ga-ga over David Petraeus and his report to Congress. Step Seven: Media insists that Petraeus is an unimpeachable source and that anyone who criticizes him must love the terrorists. Etc. etc. ad nauseam. But let's be fair to the media here. What's the likelihood that George W. Bush would send two well-respected generals to con the American people into going along with another one of his batshit crazy ideas? Surely that would be highly unlikely. After all, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I must work for CNN. By the way, I hear that Gen. Petraeus is thinking of running for president in 2012. He should ask Colin Powell for tips. I remember when that guy used to be a shoo-in.

Nailed it!

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